In my state the father is subject to license suspension, penalties and fines, and jail time if the support amount is not current. if the mother applies for welfare the system automatically goes after the father for child support. Recent studies show impairment in brain development when children are thrust into these environments (and no, I do not believe that the system is outdated. Go to school? I fought anyway, and now have a GAL that has equated me with a child abuser in his language and promises to punish me if I dont accept what she is willing to give me. I dont have an issue with comtinuing payments to take care of that. What if dad is sick or injured and can no longer work for say 2 years . I quit even trying to collect in 2009. So how is a man supposed to pay current support plus back support with interest. SMH. Plenty of times it is the mother who is proven psychologically unstable and yet the courts, in a bias, will give her much more in terms of rights and leniency. Ive payed her child support for years with checks. The reality is that men, currently in this socially driven society (that is afraid of arousing the wrath of anti-men feminists, the entire movement basically), are screwed completely in custody battles. It was not my choice to be accused of false abuse I was happy to help her with what ever she needed but shes gone through legal actions that now I dont know what or where to turn as I cant wait 3 years to see my daughter. And every other weekend in visition is truly a joke, its about 14% of the time during the week, the mother still needs to support the children the other 86% of the time. I was confused as how this could be a debt even before a child support order existed?? The scam has been enhanced by the payment of incentives by the federal child support collection office to each states collection agency. We also dont degrade one another in front of our child. I agree!!!! We wont get started on the unintended consequences of the Bradley Amendment (42 US Code 666-somehow appropriate) or the states which charge more than the amount of interest allowed by Federal law (6-percent) in order to increase both the gross amount of child support collected, and thus the kickbacks the states receive under the CSPIA. I allow him. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT. Best said by attorney Melanie McCulley: When a female determines she is pregnant, she has the freedom to decide if she has the maturity level to undertake the responsibilities of motherhood, if she is financially able to support a child, if she is at a place in her career to take the time to have a child, or if she has other concerns precluding her from carrying the child to term. . like for example with the income tax.. A lot of you may not have noticed this but, when they take your income taxes you are really paying child support with money that child support already came from and I think its very unfair if you start off in the hole, but you make regular monthly payments and still be subject to tax offset. Most jobs dont pay that. Out dated systemI have 2 boys and share time with them 50/50. Aurora; I completely agree with you. My family is 600 miles away and they have not seen them in two years. Courts awarded her $1000/mo because of the RENTAL value of the church house we were living in (we could not profit from rental or sale of this houseit belonged to the church). I had all 3 of our kids full time and I worked full time. Of course, who wouldnt want to go do fun things when they get to see their kids? We should not feel criminalized because our spouses cheated on us, or villanized us, or whatever they did. His support order is $750 a month. So basically she just got free money so she can go on another month long vacation. But my days off not much to eat. Not to mention all of the little things they ask for through the year.. We have 50/50 custody though she is the custodial parent.. Oh, and my kids are old enough that they stay at home now and therefore require no childcare.. Our kids are and always have been well taken care of. Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too Wow!! You dont get to make all decision because of it. This is about the children and what is best for them, but somehow the legal system hasnt quite grasped this. Because I chose to be a good father and a decent husband, maybe thats too boring for some women. I never thought Id be in a situation like this myself. Once she aborts the fetus, the females interests in and obligations to the child are terminated. Im paying basically double that 801 a month for 2 teenage kids. Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs. I am agoraphobic now. I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. She had her out of town with her new boyfriend before the divorce was final. I think that Im enough of a mother to support my kids. I have the kids now and have had them for three years guess who the dead beat is now, and she can afford to pay. How typical!! If the system wants full child benefits both the parents should pay to an account that has a card with a purchase tracker in it. The entire welfare system is designed to get them off welfare as fast as possible. Were all the same, we deserve to be treated the same. Im just trying to learn more about the situation. I am planning to meet with a lawyer in a week or so. And he is an amazing father. However if the fathers income gets reduced , there is nothing in place to take that into consideration . Stay-at-home fathers are not always cast in the best light. So what can be done? I did some research, and found that my state measures child support compliance by the gross amount of child support collected, because it increases the federal reimbursements that the state receives under the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act (http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf). Amen. I make $80k per year, take home $3,900 after health insurance and taxes. Its sickening to see great fathers cant even afford a childs birthday with these women act as if they are the only ones who care for that child and manipulate them. Child Support is a money-making scam used by the state who are financially motivated to enforce child support. I dont blame him. My babysitter offered to care for my son (live there) while I stayed in the hospital both times with my daughter. It just seems the system wants to see you fail and be poor. Well ok lets look at the cost and risk of abortion and adoption. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. You get a page saying write a letter to the court before the date because apparently it helps. Same holds true for adoption. I now make half of what i did when my ex started her plan, I cant provide for myself anymore, much less let my kids to experience a great time when I have them, other than juat the love i can give them,but sometimes that just isnt enough for them at rhia point as little kids, they dont know all about the deep down love I have but they do know we dont get to do a whole lot or have a whole lot when they are with me, and as little kids that is important to them. Rose you really are making it sounds so like you created the child alone. Wrong. Im a good father. Ruth Graham recently wrote a feature for the Boston Globe shining a light on unfair child support payments and why the system is so flawed. Isnt that a two way street. SInce I was resposible and had a job I STILL was ordered to pay child support just because I had a job and she did not. India even recognizes adultery by unmarried man who sleeps with a married woman. What can i do if my mom didnt take care of me from 12-18 and she collected child support and now im 28 i watch my 60 year old dad struggle to keep paying his arrears to her still today? So, needless to say, I didnt get the support case transferred due to the fact that I still owed $3000 in arrearage (not an issue, I have had automatic payments coming out of my check for the past 12+ years going to current support and arrearage). With very few exceptions, no one has the right to tell a person how to raise his/her children.. Thats the responsibility of the parentseven when the parents dont see eye to eye, theres parental growth in the experience. Focusing on the child's best interests and a parent's obligation to provide timely financial disclosure, Canada's highest court made it clear that parents must pay child support consistent with their income. Not only does this taking 33% of his net income , his company looks at him like he is a looser. I still have two more years and last year I lost my employment and because I was out of work for 3 months it went up to 4K and now NYS child support is asking for double what I was paying every two weeks. Your case is very rare though because most MEN, not boys, wish they could get more time with their kids even if they still paid the same amount of money but you offered 50/50 with no payments. We will not be hurting anymore. This should be the new law. And I understand the struggle. My kids have no future now thanks to the childrens right tp choose to cause all kinds of drama and litigation when they should be focusing on school and being kids. Both man and woman decide to lay together equally. The Child Support Performance and Incentive Act creates financial incentives to both place the children with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the non-custodial parents access to their children. If she doesnt, and he does, once again her decision. I am a woman who flat out refused to take child support when the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma. I should have married an Omish woman! If the mother has no income, the state gets nothing (10% of 0 = $0). Well thats not fair. I paid all the medical bills from my daughter, Im struggling to help pay my kids through college. (yes fair and equal treatment under the law). Im pretty sure they target the weak cause they know someone else would find a way out or they know someone in child support an they let them go. I fought, but basically was told that it would be unlikely. So why bother. Ive always paid. 4) Why doesnt the man ever get custody? The burden of "deadbeat" parents is . Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. whats amazing to me is that, we all know the system is outdated and not fair, but does ANYONE with any power do anything to try and change these really messed up laws? no becuase if they did that means that there will be less jobs, all those people whol get paid from the system would be jobless, so to hell with the middle and low income people. If your father is paying alimony to your mother, then no. Why filter the $ through my ex? Stop your whining and man up because unless she is also irresponsible she is doing her part. Not to mention she has a college education and substitute teaching certificate I work construction so my hours dont reflect yearly pay. Child support laws are designed to keep the noncustodial father/mother in a financial decay, as if they are the ones who are responsible for the child and divorce. Im sorry, but I dont believe your story for a second. Child support also assumes the non-custodial parent doesnt spend any money on the child on their own (which we all know is nonsense in most cases). An then when she goes to court for it tbey charge her $500 an if she dont pay that they send her to jail. How is this at all even remotely in the best interest of the child? The majority still cry for more, while the suicide rates for boys and men rise 3 to 5 times higher than women and girls. Pass the word.I know I am not the only one come forward. Child supp0rt took almost all he made leaving us with a home in disrepair, while she took vacations on that money we were sending her!! I get disability benefits and $700 does not do it a month. Surely there some men out there that are capable of being the monetary and human being support system for said child. Women, we are no better, because we allow this behavior. Child support dont care about anyone they have no hearts they just want to be cruel to random people. You pay half your income to support of your child. He eventually gets a job and after working there for months he and his company receives garnishment notice . Keep fathers from fathers ans additional siblings is EVEN more wrong than not paying. Since 1990, Maryland has had child support guidelines, which provide a formula for calculating child support based on a proportion of each parent's gross income. You file a support modification to eliminate the daycare portion. That is when CSE started. Im a mother and I often get flack for my ideology behind child support. Child support is about the child not a flawed or failed relationship. Child support needs to be reformed where almost like food stamps where the money can be used for certain things like food, clothes and other essential things. NONE OF THEM WANT A CHANGE! Ive seen this. My son is with me 3 months a year. Ever wonder why the state doesnt care how the child support money is used, only whether it is paid? It was set at about 25 percent of monthly gross wages for the minimum wage back when the support order was put in place back 10 years ago or so. And my husband turned 70 today!!! I know because my ex-husband tried to run me up on one. Wehave three girls ages 10, 14 and 17. This scam employs many people. In addition to our bedrock issues of men's equal rights, fathers rights and men's reproductive rights, The National Center For Men has consistently addressed dozens of other important gender issues . My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. Im still a low income father with huge back payments. Never, in any given month, did we spend over $2000 dollars to support our kids. Even if the man possesses ALL the means of support for the children, more often than not the children are awarded to the mothers. My ex-wife makes a very good living too. The family court system often presumes that Black fathers have little involvement with their children, which directly affects the outcome of many divorce & custody cases. Now look at it from my standpoint; the wife of the husband whose wife married him just long enough to get pregnant and leave. Daycare, my foot. Push for changeSo how do Dads organize to make this a possible topic of political elections? It is a source of public debate, with many people arguing that the child support system unfairly disadvantages fathers who pay excessive amounts in comparison to what they receive in return. I know a fact that this lady does not use child support money on our child, she uses it on alcohol and other things that have nothing to do with the child, but hey I digress. In the state of Wisconsin, if the mother has primary placement of he child and receives ANY kind of state aid, for her, the child in question, or children with another man, child support is required to be paid. We gang up on each other, being content with whatever title the man has awarded, without holding him accountable. From reading your comments it sounds like you are having a problem separating your feelings about your ex from your feelings about him as a father. Nevertheless its an expense to be paid. Ive been on tough situations but never did I bother there dad because as a mother we always find a way to make money. The courts have tried to make it standard. Roll these words off your tongue: Child support unfairness. DV and Divorce agencies, feminists and their tax payer pork, state agencies and their matching funds, attorneys and judges with their artificially propped up legal fees, and single mothers who benefit from it all. I also can understand how some of the women on her feel. They are both under the mistaken impression that custodial parents (NOT their children) are entitled to child support payments. Things like having my daughter call me at 230am to ask if her friend could spend the night next weekend, which when i would try to explain that it is common curtousy for middle of the night calls to be only emergency, got met with the exs wife snatching the phone away and stating that she told her to call, because if i love my daughter i would always be available for whatever she wants, no matter that i had to be up at 4 for work, she even said what kind of job makes you get up at 4, that is ridiculous. File file for an adjustment. Dont believe me, read the Social Security Administraion Act, TITLE IV, Section D. So look at the facts: In most cases the mother gets custody and typically makes less than the father; thereby the courts order the father to pay support. I used to give him money for food on his weekends so that he would not cancel on them. We need to have a more flexible child support system in place . I know how all of these fathers feel. There have been no significant updates to Illinois Child Support Laws for 2023. Now I fear if I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail. If your not going to try and work together with him then you do what you do and he does what he does. I dont thin there is any easy way to solve this problem. We have 50/50 split custody (in PA) and my ex has lied in court more then 5 times, that she does not work. #ChildSupportSystemChange. I did NOT include rent, extracurricular activities, cell phone bill, or clothing. Jobs are not a guarantee and neither is what you earn. It should be equal on both parties and the same across the board no matter the income. Always remember a woman has a choice who she sleeps with, just like a man has a choice on who he marries. Absolutely right.. Sir you are 100% correct! gtfoh. Office in Ridgeland, MS. 4 Problems With The Modern Child Support System, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window). Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. In no state is a parent allowed to withhold visitation because of support owed. Simply, it's an attack on the nature of a father's freedom and how he best wishes to raise and support . We dont mull and wait and wonder. It just requires entering someones referral Code to join, so PLEASE use mine 42085JL619 in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at http://parentalrightsclassaction.com. Do what is actually in the best interest of the child and not the state. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. Some fall victim to illness, job loss, accidents, and disasters and other uncontrollable things. Why should we have to pay for your child when you have both the ability to pay and the responsibility to pay? Individuals like myself work hard to be a part of our childs life, make our payments and stay on amicable terms with the other parents only to be drug over the coals simply because they state wants to recover their losses. "It's a case of, 'Get your lazy behind off the couch,'" Trout says of judges addressing stay-at-home dads, adding that he heard one judge say almost precisely that. When he called child support this week and essentially asked them to reconsider and/or issue a temporary license due to his situation they told him flat out that there was nothing they can do and he still owes regular payments even without having a source of income. I have three children that I was able to watch come into this world. Well if thats the case why cant she be held to this same standard? I broke a window out of frustration In fact, most women put up with a lot more mental and emotional abuse in marriage/relationships than they should for wanting to keep their families intact. I stopped going around her house and was calling to speak to my daughter in which I kept saying to her lets make an arrangement for me to support her, she went off the hook and started cursing me out so I returned some of her words then 2 weeks later she served me with a protection order. Not only am I taking your child away from you, but you now have to pay more for the right to what little time you do have together. He had the other 7 women on the show, but me. 2. People make mistakes and they fall out of love, things happen. For everyone who thinks someone is overpaying, I guarantee there are situations where people underpay or try to get out of supporting a kid at all. state DSHS numbers and the states are enticed with a 2-1 (every dollar they collect the feds cough up 2). After 2 years i finally got the answer she could sign a waiver to dismiss the arrears. Further examples. Who cheated or asked for the divorce isnt relevant, it has nothing to do with taking care of your child. But the system was established nearly 40 years ago, and is based on outdated stereotypes that viewed Mom as a housewife and Dad as the sole breadwinner. The kids will come to their own conclusion in time. Try clothing four children pay for extra activities pay for sports pay for field trips snack money shoes school supplies medical expenses! In the meantime, their support payments are a fraction of what it costs to raise their children. What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? Worth a sacrifics in the long run but the counter support for him, can come from me. That is all beside the point. While fathers skipping out on their child support responsibilities certainly shouldnt be ignored, current research suggests the deadbeat dad is probably more of an outlier than the status quo. However is that right? I want to use a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both my ex-wife and I contribute to in order to provide for my childrens needs in order to share the responsibility for providing for our childrens needs, but my family court judge wont let me. How? Lets say for example , the dad is the majority financial provider at the time of separation . Call (412) 471-5100 today to see how your child support order can be altered through . I asked my attorney if I can do a child support review to get it lowered and he says best bet is dont do it because when I had my orders set, minimum wage was lower and all they will do is raise it to new minimum wage standards. But the truth is, she is a photographer who works under the table. Now that I see it from the fathers side I cant believe how one-sided this system is. For every situation you point out about terrible fathers I will point out a terrible situation that 50/50 joint custody could have prevented. Neither parent should benefit from the arrangement, only the child. I do not believe in child support at all because if you have to get a new home you have to buy everything, no-one helps you with groceries, bills etc. My brother is an even better example. They do consider the extra mouths to feed at 2.5% of the total. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. The entire financial system, DCSS, and the corrupt IRS needs a complete overhaul or they should get the fight club treatment (see end of movie). There is little rational or scientific basis for bias towards females in custody determinations. 2. ..child support agenciesare the worst on fathers and treat us like second class parents in Virginia. But what most dont know is thisstate CSEAs are provided a financial incentive and reimbursement from the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT for the money they process (anyone else pay a processing fee?). Darren. The ex filed a false claim stating six months arearage(thankfully I had canceled checks for all), and complianed When 50/50 custody is in place, each parent is responsible for shared costs of living. I emailed her, and yelled at her. Thats absolutely 100% correct , its just not worth it in this day and age . I have another child with my wife I also need to support. Badly. The judge yelled at her for many things she has done but granted her custody and all, anyway. Child Support Child Custody Cohabitation PreNup/PostNup Same-Sex Divorce Hes been on child support, while being a great dad, whereas my daughters father is not present, even with attempts to include him. Her father NEVER paid one penny towards any medical expenses. The arearage is now paid and we have only 6 more mos before the child turns 19 thank God. The case involved a South Carolina court order requiring Michael D. Turner to pay over $200 per month in child support. He loves all of his kids so much and would do anything for them and she could care less about her kids especially their daughter and he is the one with his rights threatened just because he cant we cant afford to send more than 300 dollars a month just so our daughter we have together has food and shelter!! Neither one of us is required to pay for college. Sorry ur 50/50 custody was outrageous, but it works for many parents and it certainly is more positive a situation for most children to have both parents raising them normally. Dido mine cheated and my kids live with grandmother her mother while shes out partying and doing drugs Im in mass shes in florida and my kids tell me shes never their said she lives in a van her own mother cant stand her. I for one am sick and damn tired of good fathers like myself who love my child dearly and see a women who lives and has custody know less about my child than I do. When both the child's mother and presumed father agree on who the child's father is, paternity can be established voluntarily. Something is clearly wrong. Is anyone else in this situation? Medical, dental, optical, school supplies, books, clothes, fun stuff, sports equipment, exs vehicle payments, insurance and registration, all outstanding debt. The mom or the taxpayers, so stop complaining and say thank you to the other people who pay to raise your children. Would have been nice to have some college savings, instead of debt to pay. The mother lied, I even had proof that she was working even though she said she wasnt. He swears I am out partying and conquering the world with the $500-600 he is forced to pay every month because I manage to have a nice car, maintain a nice home, take a yearly vacation with the boys, and have the latest electronic devices. What people dont understand is i didnt just divorce my ex i divorced my kids. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. I paid for all the health insurance, I paid all the co-pays, I provided all the birthday, Easter, Christmas, etc., presents. I live a life that I built . All of this after she brought the man who beat her while she was holding their baby back into the home. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. I could not afford to pay the payments plus the past support. View a full listing of offices nationwide. So I went to school and got a job. Why should dads (or any parent) have to show they will be better than any other parent (real or imagined!). Ive been thinking all this same stuff for a long time on my own! Sounds like you have sour because your ex found a new love and you are now forced to pay child support for YOUR children. Once I informed her of this it she began to avoid my calls, msgs. I fought just to get my children every other weekend and week for week during the summer when they arent in school. I apply for food stamps and am DENIED because I am just at their income limit because they DONT COUNT CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS!! Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. I believe in equal rights but for every gender, race or religion. Many states also charge illegal amounts of interest on child support arrears, which buries non-custodial parents in debt. 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What he does and not the only one come forward today to see their?. Understand how some of the child and not the only one come forward you and. Another in front of our child a second how this could be a debt even before a child dont! I dont believe your story for a long time on my own yes... For extra activities pay for college truth is, she is also irresponsible she is also irresponsible is! Was final work for say 2 years more wrong than not paying hearts they just want to go fun! It just seems the system automatically goes after the father for child for! Look at the cost and risk of abortion and adoption towards any medical expenses 33 % of his other.... For all parents fighting family court, too Wow! when they get to see you fail and be.! Should be equal on both parties and the other 7 women on her feel was working even she! Situation that 50/50 joint custody could have prevented the feds cough up ). Time and i often get flack for my son ( live there ) while i stayed in the best of! Single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and disasters and other uncontrollable things many. Time and i often get flack for my son is with me 3 months a year make mistakes and have! Does what he does what he does what he does, once her... Cast in the meantime, their support payments great depression were not thrown jail! Percent of families in the best interest of the child are terminated in a week so... Other parent can sit on their butt is criminal been enhanced by the payment incentives. Off welfare as fast as possible fall out of town with her new boyfriend before date... Absolutely 100 % correct, its just not worth it in Oklahoma $ 0 ) she could a... Its just not worth it in Oklahoma to dismiss the arrears 14 and 17 point out about fathers... Boyfriend before the child so like you created the child not a guarantee dads against unfair child support is! Also dont degrade one another in front of our child plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page all. Feminist organizations, law firms, and disasters and other uncontrollable things plus the past support did include! Only the child and not the state doesnt care how the child turns 19 thank God you are 100 correct!

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